no need to worry. face it and still keep the pace.

yeah.. well..

actually, it is bitter. maybe it's just not bitter. but bitter and sour, think about that, how could your tongue taste it? yeah if that was just for tongue and lips, it thought it would be the taste of "filthy nightmare" kiss. but how if it is about you life, actually, phase of life?

well well well..

being not accepted in medical uni in this year for me is a kiss of the combination of sour and bitter.

but, yes. everybody must face a hard time in life. me and my mom have got a vision about this. this is a purgatory for my body. it will kill my ego, my selfish, my narcist, my cocky, my whatever you call as the feeling of "I AM THE GREATEST WITH NO ENEMY" part of my life.

oh, right, i haven't told you all yet. i've got accepted in Nutrition program in a city called Purwokerto. check it here Purwokerto and this is the Universitas Jendral Soedirman. well Purwokerto is not that redneck city even they don't have any cinema there (but thank you Pirate Bay!).

wait, wait. there is good part about it. i can learn a lot from Banyumas' culture. it was amazing though. could you imagine, now i can learn sulukan a la mBanyumasan right from the source. then i can watch and learn Ronggeng, Lengger, and any traditional dance a la mBanyumasan right from the heart of Banyumas. and the thing that is very kool, the food is so damn good. well i feel more happy. :)

at least it's just one year, and next year i will and still try to get the test for medical major in uni and get the title M.D. just like this fucking Leslie Chow from The Hangover trilogy

okie dokie, it is dusk here going to be dawn. and i am writing from my crib. here. a kiss and pose from me and sweet baby Bronx (he's naked and i love all my teddies naked)

well i'd like to share something:

be grateful in everything. let The Lord guide you, not you lead with your own logic. even sometimes you will see it hard, but trust me. whenever and wherever you say no to worry, you face it, you keep the pace, you kneel for it, and you are grateful, you will find amazing things and lessons in your life

okay, i've got to rest and well enjoy every single little thing.

p.s. : i am happy that i have left you. if i don't do it, i do not know what i will be. :p

17-07-2013 Anno Domini

hey dudes! it's me again in the middle of July, in the middle of one legend city of East Java. Malang, baby!

it has been a not-well rest in the train for nearly 8 hours, from Jogja to Malang. but hell yeah, here i am in the heart of the city of Blue Rangers a.k.a. Arema :p

22.15 the train departed from Jogja and at around 5.30 we arrived here. take the "angkot" then rushly goes to the guest house. luckly i met a beautiful high school girl in the "angkot". but unfortunately i was with my mom, so there's no any pickup. haahahahahaha.

at the guest house, it still closed yet, we couldn't enter it. but here i am luckily the KFC is just next to the guest house. This time i'll stay at Kawi Guest House Jl. Kawi Atas 40, not at the Bandoeng (Jl. Bandung 1). so thank you Col. Harland Sanders for your early KFC Rises and a gulp of coffee. aw yeah.

well it's kinda good to live here at Jalan Kawi. i'd like to tell both of my buddies, Noel a.k.a Da Ge "the doctor wannabe" and Ariel a.k.a Koh Yangsen "the HK's mafioso" that those jackpot mamafakin food stall that closed that day, now opens. i found a cool and yummy Pecel Tumpang, Nasi Buk, Bakso (this one is pork one), and even Nasi Babi @ depo Gang Djangkrik (just across the guest house). it is true that Jalan Kawi has a lot of yummy food, but the one that Andri a.k.a Pek Tjoen "The Kandang bassist wannabe" told us is just the shit dude. i thought he would swallow all kind of food, even it was deep fried shit with sauce.

well it is just some morning writings, luckily already inside the guest house, and i need some rest before checking the class for test @ Brawijaya Medical Uni. and pray for me guys, tomorrow i'll face the test. and i'm in love with this city now. bless me Sweet Dear Lord Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit. i just follow wherever You order me to go.

ciao bitchachos. lots of kisses and hugs from East Java, down below Mahameru and Bromo, in the heart of Malang. The heritage of East Java. Ongis Nade, Kera Ngalam!

so let me write something for this (nearly) half of july

well it has been a long time i write nothing on this mini-me electronic diary. it has been some days of sorrow ad suffer. but like what Ali told, "don't quit! suffer now!", i've done it.

actually it's not that sorrow and painful. i'd just been loco for a while (even actually i'm a loco in my everyday life) hahahahaa..

it has been a nearly expert mode june and july in my life. a lot of things i saw, but none there to share. it has been two months when even those damned bitchachos also gone away. those bitchachos will realize, someday, yes someday.

the best things of this june and july is my fighting months. not just fighting for a chair in a uni for medical program, but it is also a fight in faith-hope-love.

why it was a fight that sounds so creepy? yes it was those moments that i have to fight a force that actually normally or even locoly, as a human i can't stand. but thank GOD i survived, and even i won for some fight (but still in the fight for uni intake). yes it is about some problems that i have to face, tough choices that i have to choose, and a walk and run to catch the star in my life. a lot of people told me that i've thrown away the love, but i have taught them what love is. and even me, myself, has known the true love. not just a lust, or even the way of making love (and even till today i never do it, i'm a virgin and i am proud -> i only did some make out though, hahahaaha \m/ ). i even could learn a lot of things, and know the best damn track and path for my life, that GOD had planned for me (the matter is, am i choosing that?). aha, fyi, i suffered a lot of fight to face mamafakin gossips about me and heartbreaks. and i survived! hallelujah!

well loco rite? hell yeah loco.

now let's just move from that topic to another. my free life (again and again).

yes it has been months i am being single. and it has been months that this world pushed me to make things back with her. but like what i have said. no is a no. it has been a tough choice, and i ain't regret anything. i even enjoy a lot of my me time. i actually pity her, cause i thought that she's doing a lot of things, getting a lot of ons and offs, searching a way to me (that i actually thought already a dead end). well i just jumped on her electronic diary too, and jumped on (not stalking, and it's not my coolness part) tweets. but fyi i have done those moments i'd lost with my family, my buddies and bitchachos, and even myself. now i can enjoyly doing things freely. none trying to capture me. as what Sting said (and i actually believe this) "if you love somebody, set 'em free".

nah, now the moment. actually i'm a bit envy with my cousins and their relationships. i love being single and free, but i also want someone here with me (but still give me my freedom). ah. but like what Beatles said, "obladi, oblada, life goes on, oooh..." hahahaahahaha..

well let me a little bit sum up what i have learned about love and relationship till today:

1. if you love somebody, set em free. why? cause everybody's free man. we are free to choose. you wanted freedom, give another people freedom. do for them what you wanted them to do for you.

2. love is not lust. hear the true voice of your heart. don't do things just based on pity or lust, or you'll drown in your own made "Cauldron of Pity and Lust". don't do that. i am the living example. i've suffered and survived.

3. draw yourself near, more and more to GOD. the closer you are to Him, the closer you are in a relation with human. but remember. live His path, not your own made path, or even world's path. (a lil bit religious huh? but it is true, i guarantee)

well at least i enjoy this nearly half of july, with all of those ups and downs, ons and offs. and just pray for me for those fights i still have to face. fyi i am waiting for the result of UM Diponegoro Uni, UM Gadjah Mada Uni, and still have to fight for SPMK Brawijaya Uni. i believe where ever GOD put me, it is the best.

and let me share a message:

"just wait and obey and do the things. and then you will reap a harvest. with one condition. no quitting at all"

all i am here from my crib, telling you this (nearly) half of july. xoxoxo